3 goals, a sending-off and and an OGGY...All in a days work for the WNSS

A.H. Electrical 3 - 0 WNSS FC; How can you describe a game that had it all? No excuses this time about the weather, and with only Mikos absent they couldn't argue the toss about a weakened squad. On a day where the very foundations of the club started to crumble assunder, two of the all time WNSS greats conspired to plunge the club into crisis. Never before had so much controversy been squeezed into 50 minutes of football, other than the battle of the buffet at Old Trafford only 9 months previously. As ever the previous nights preparation for a third of the squad involved anything but a night in front of the TV with the missus and a cup of tea; the die was cast, the result inevitable. The opposition, put to the sword by the WNSS last season by the same score, paraded the familiar face of Robocop in defence and an assortment of whinging loons in support.

A couple of good moves saw the WNSS exert some early pressure and they created a couple of encouraging openings. But in familiar style they found their classic form, and the WNSS found themselves a goal down, and then proceeded to struggle for the next 40 minutes. Daz then withdrew himself, fearing a bout of corner-flag projectile vomiting and was replaced by the languid Gavstacurta. Soon they were 2-0 down, as a drilled cross wasn't cleared and the net bulged with great aplomb. Their No.10 was on a hat-trick. Half time saw the temperature start to rise as the massed ranks of the WNSS began their own live autopsy on the first half performance. Flames barking his views, the Beast not happy, Guido claiming "we can beat these, they're shit"

A 2-0 down there was a chance, and the WNSS dug in and attempted the impossible; to score......and then score again. In the next few minutes a series of pivotal decisions were made that directly influenced the events that then followed. Flames and The Doctor were primed to enter the fray and Flames signalled to Pistol to come off, at the same time that Wildo announced that he'd had enough. Pistol stayed on, Wildo withdrew, Flames entered stage left. Pistol gathered the ball and pushed forward, while Flames in space cried for a pass. It didn't come. Flames berrated Pistol, Pistol volleyed back a tirade of expletives, and it was all too much for the referee. Pistol was already making the long walk as the red card was mercilessly brandished by the official. Flames was ashen-faced, Pistol was incandescent, and the FA......dumbstruck. WNSS had sent one of their own players off. Surely this own-goal by Flames, in goading his teammate into self-combustion, would be the end of the excitement? Unfortunately the gods took their revenge and as a second drilled cross seemed to be drifting safely out into touch, the hapless Flames simply ballooned it into his own net. The abject ginger one imploded after that, and engineered at least two more gift-wrapped chances for the opposition with stray passes and a woeful free-kick.

The 3rd goal killed the contest off, and signalled the beginning of the post mortem. The question on everyones lips is how long will Pistol be banned for, and how much will the fine be? The financials aside, who can put a price on two WNSS legends at logger-heads. Rumours close to the camp revealed that Flames was already digging up the olive branch, and he was considering taking out a full page in the Financial Times for an apology. WNSS need to pick themselves up for tomorrow nights cup clash against lower division opponents, but as Guido would say "we can beat these, they're shit".