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Thursday, January 06, 2005

WNSS FC thrown into crisis

Surely it can't be true? In a dramatic turn of events it was revealed last night that the beloved Wednesday skills-fest could be thrown into turmoil. In a cruel twist of fate, the installation of KPMG as Congleton Borough Councils financial auditors has sounded the potential death-knell of the post match autopsy and convivial after dinner drinks. In a statement published by Norbert Shorts, Director General of C.B.C., he made it clear that the books were in poor shape.

"Opening twice a week for 2 hours is a costly exercise, especially when the cash return is as dismal as it currently is. Despite some deep-cut promotional activity on Scrumpy Jack and Fiddlers Elbow (Cat-Nip), we cannot get these Wednesday show-boating bastards to spend any money. Its a matter of brass tacks, hence Wednesday or Friday is for the chop"

Clearly the ramifications for the wider community are far-reaching, and in an unprecedented move the WNSS FC players union have started a petition, a book of condolances, and Holmes Chapel's first Telethon. Donations to the "Save the Skill Stylie" charity are most welcome.

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